...Aaaaaaand we're back!

For me, at least, wheels are turning once again. I've been employed for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! I'm back in the automotive industry as well, working for another Tier 1 supplier on a contractual basis. This is temporary, to be sure, it's nice to reap an engineer's pay again, if just for a little while.

I have more to say, but it's good to ease into these things a little at a time.

Until then.

Hey, I have a blog?

Uh, yeah, so that whole blogging thing... I guess I'm missing the point about regular posts.

Things here have been... quiet. I've not had a single call about a job. Not ONE SINGLE CALL. My last ego boost was being turned down for a job as a bank teller. BANK TELLER. Obviously, I'm a bit down about the whole 'job' thing.

My plan is still to go back to school using No Worker Left Behind. The only problem, and I'm not saying it really is a problem, is that using NWLB means leaving engineering. This has highlighted something else that is bothering me.

The field of engineering is dying in the US.

A Careerbuilder magazine that was sent to my house stated that engineering careers in the US are flat for the foreseeable future. This is not a surprise when you think that engineering and manufacturing are inseperably linked. Engineers design things to be manufactured. Engineers moniter, maintain, and inprove manufacturing lines that produce thos same things. As manufacturing leaves the US, so too does engineering.

This is really depressing for me, not only because it does not bode well for the future of the US, but also because I really liked the concreteness of mechanical engineering.

Does anyone see this similarly? Does anyone think I'm wrong?

Anyone?

Spring is Near

The windows are open, and spring is in the air. It has been a long, hard winter. Between economic woes, uncertainty at work, and random other factors, I am more than happy to see the end of winter.

Spring is a time of rebirth, renewal, and growth. All of these things are a part of, or participate in change. I could really use some change for the better right now, even, perhaps, rebirth. My own personal growth has been rather stunted as of late. Several of my former co-workers started Grad school for MBA's. More and more I've been envying them. My previous position was very stable, to the point of stagnation. Rebirth, renewal, growth. Change.

I am filled with worry about the future, as to whether I can find a job soon, and continue to make my mortgage payment, but if I do find a new job soon, this could be one of the best things that's happened to me in a while. (My marriage being the other.)

Growth.

Change.

Spring is here, and it's about damn time.

Some Simple Updates

I appologize again, to the zero people reading this blog, that I haven't been updating. Really, there hasn't been all that much going on. That is not to say there have not been a few points of interest:

I've attended my first seminar/session/whatever at with Right Management, a transition service that my previous employer contracted to help those that were laid off. The first session was Career Assessment. Prior to attending the class, I had to take the Myers-Briggs, and do a value assessment exercise. The result were rather interesting. I have taken the Myers-Briggs before, and the results changed since the last time I took it. Previously, I came up as a classic Engineer. This time, I tested as a ISFJ, "The Protector", most apt to health care, and LEAST apt for Engineering and Computers. I think it is a reflection of the issues I had with my previous employment, and not an indication that I am not fit for my chosen career path.

Also interesting, is that my wife, who was four credits short of a Master's in Clinical Psychology, had never heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. There were other tests that she specialized in, which I understand. Certain schools will prefer different tests over others. What I find confusing is that she had never had the test discussed in class. Even if you didn't want your students to use a particular test, wouldn't you at least cover the test to discuss its weaknesses, and explain why you don't want them to use it? Odd.

I am finally playing along with the Game Club at Eat-Sleep-Game, previously 1UP FM's backlog. I've been meaning to play for some time, but this time I actually ran across a copy of the game for a bargain before they started discussing it. The game, which is Rockstar's Bully, is pretty much, from what I can tell, classic GTA formula in a different setting. I'm not big fan of GTA. I haven't played a GTA since the first one, where I had fun torching Hari Karishnas with a flame thrower, and watching my roommate going on a cop-killing spree till here were none left in the city. (Don't think I don't know how bad that sounds, but the first GTA was pretty abstract.) I've seen people play others, but they never really appealled to me.

Some thoughts on the game:
1) I'm not sure how I feel about the mission-based structure yet. I've not been a big fan of it in the past, with other games. Jak 2 was partly the reason for this. Jak and Daxter was a competent platformer, and 2 had such an artificial grafting of mission based structure and dark, angsty story that I stopped playing really early. We'll see what happens here.
2) Save Algie. Dear God, why an escort mission? I hated them in X-Wing, I hated them in Tie Fighter, and an escort mission was the OTHER reason I stopped playing Jak 2.
3) Why is every person in the school a psychopath? I'm walking along, minding my own bi'ness, and some jerk hits me from behind, out of the blue. What did I ever do to you? Why do people try to beat me up for no apearant reason, even in the middle of the school, with prefects standing right there?

More later, as the game progresses.

In Between

I've been in an odd place since I lost my job. I guess this is not surprising. I'm in an in between place where I'm having trouble moving forward, even though I know it's REALLY important to get moving right now. I've looked into some options, and there are some interesting opportunities available to me.

Michigan Works will train me in a presumed growing field. I was happy being an engineer, but perhaps I do need a change.

In the meantime, my previous employer has paid for two months for me at a company called Right Management, which will help me write my resume, give me practice interviewing, and look at my different options if I want to switch careers.

Between the two, I'm seriously thinking of giving up this whole engineering thing. It's an odd thought. For almost 8.75 yrs of working, and 4.5 yrs of schooling, I defined myself by the title of engineer. It wasn't just what I did, it was who I was. Now that may not be the case anymore.

I know this may be silly to you. Why would someone define themselves so closely with what they do? I don't think it's unusual for engineers, though.

For now I'm an engineer. Tomorrow? Who knows.

Here's to the Fallen

I finished the last post, and realized that I overlooked one of the things I really wanted to do, and that is recognize those people who I knew who lost their jobs on Wed.

So, to Greg, Rayyan, Brian, Joel, Kendra, and especially David, those special few I knew out of the approximately 300 who, like me, lost their jobs, and to Will, Sara, Helene, and Jeremy, those smart few who took the damn buyout and walked away with more money, here's to you all. Good luck in all your endeavors.

Cheers.

And so falls the axe.

In my neck.

As I'm sure all of the zero people reading this blog were wondering, yes, last Wednesday the dreaded layoffs did occur, and so, as of about 1:30, Feb 18th, I am unemployed. Yup, my number came up.

The word that kept coming up in all of this was 'bloodbath'. Many fine people were let go.

I am dreadfully depressed by this. I keep trying to remind myself that it is not personal, and that my manager probably knew nothing about this. After all, on Tues, after attending a presentation to one of our customers that I had a large part in, he asked me how I would feel about going to Japan for training. Just 24 hrs later, the point is moot.

Now I have the eminent pleasure of trying to find an Engineering job in SE Michigan, when Ford, GM, and Chrysler are laying off Engineers in droves.

I have worked there just under 9 yrs. My resume had a layer of dust on it an inch thick, and I've completely forgotten how to write my objective.

All is not lost, of course. Friends and family have all reached out to make sure I knew that I wasn't alone in this. With my wife working, a meager severance, some unemployment from the state, and a bit of luck, we might make it through this, even keeping the house.

I must admit I'm a bit scared. Too much can go wrong, and this isn't the economy to be job searching in.

More as it develops.

Ready, Aim, Misfire?

Thursday was rumored to be the day the cuts were happening. This turned out not to be true. I am getting very sick of not knowing what's going on. The company has released no new memos, no communication, no nothing. We have no idea if there are even going to be more cuts, after they extended the voluntary buyout. Instead we have rumors and paranoia. The rumor now is that there will be pay cuts.

Today was the last day for another one of my friends at work. Another one bites the dust.

In the meantime, between waiting to loose my job and saying goodbye to friends, I'm working on a project that I don't understand. In October I was transferred to a new department, as I might have previously mentioned. I'm not really up to speed in my new position. No one around me has had any time to train me in what the new department does, and some of what I'm working on hasn't been done by my company in the US yet. So, now I have to present our 'design' (and I use the term loosely) to our customer when I don't even really understand how it works. My most recent task on this front has been to start pouring over customer specs trying to figure out what applies to this part, and how we have to test it.

I really feel out of my element on this project, and there's really no one to ask for help. My manager is in California at some seminar. Before he left, he told me to handle this. That was helpful, wasn't it? I really have to choice but to blindly stumble forward, though the current uncertainty really makes this difficult.

Perhaps the hammer will drop tomorrow. Perhaps not.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

This has been a rough week for me. I've been sick with some sort of killer kold from outer space, and I've been to two different 'going away' gatherings for friends. I've just returned from one such gathering. One of my best work friends has taken the buy out, and we gathered at the bar to say goodbye. His last day is actually next week, but it was a joint party for someone else who's last day is tomorrow.

On the way home from the bar I heard "The Distance" by Cake. I haven't heard that song since college, which got me thinking about those friends I've lost touch with from "back in the day".

And now I'm depressed. Go figure.

In other gossipy news, there are some major organizational changes going on at work. Things are being shaken up pretty severely. I am fortunate that since my transfer I am out of some of the more startling changes. With the coming involuntary terminations, the company will have been reduced 50% from the last year or two. This is pretty frightening. In the meantime, I think it was GM which opened it's buyout to all hourly employees, and USgov still hasn't agreed on any sort of further aid.

And furthermore, the groundhog saw his shadow, which means six more weeks of winter.
I don't know about you, but I'm ready for spring.

Sometimes Ups out-number the Downs, but not often.

The halls are emptier at work, but it's not yet very noticeable. That will change in the coming weeks when the rest of the cuts happen. It is going to change for me sooner, though, as two of my friends have accepted the buyout. It is a strange feeling. I've worked in this company for going on nine years, and most of that time has been in the same job, the same group, and doing the same basic things. Now, in the space of a few months, my position in the company has changed, people I've known for years are leaving, and my job has turned out to be not nearly as safe as it once seemed. It is a very unsettled and unsettling feeling.

Some random thoughts to take my mind off things:

I've finished Dragon Quest 8, and it's fair to say I like it. I am so used to Final Fantasy's style that the different monster designs and old school feel really stand out, but in a good way. I really like the cel-shaded animations on the monsters. The edges are smooth, and don't have the choppy or polygonal feel of some of the earlier FF games. It is pretty to look at.

I love games, as you can probably tell. Casual and free games have made a bit of a buzz with the gaming press lately, and for good reason. Sites like Kongregate and Armor Games have sucked away so much of my free time, and kept me from doing constructive things, that I probably need to have an intervention. Most of the games I really enjoy and keep going back to are by Armor games, and also playable on Kongregate. I recommend the Shift series of games, Hedgehog Launch, and Sonny. Try them, and see how fun free games can be.

Phillip Koller of Rebel FM mentioned Gravity Bone in a podcast, and I downloaded and played it. It is interesting. The game is all of twenty minutes long, if that, but is fun, innovative, and manages to convey a story with no actual dialogue.

More later

The Chopping Block

Tomorrow will be the last day for those at work who took the voluntary buyout. However, that's not the end, oh no, no it's not! INvoluntary terminations will follow shortly thereafter. Yes sir or madam as the case may be, I may not have a job in the next week or so!

I'm nervous, of course. We're all nervous. The total lack of communication, along with the rampant rumors have ruined moral and made everyone paranoid. It has gotten to the point where we all think the ones who have taken the buyout may be the smart/lucky ones.

The consensus is that the company has handled this poorly. I have two co-workers going for MBA's at U of M, and they both said that every class they take says this is "what not to do." Regardless, the circus goes on, and the rumors continue.

To put the icing on the cake, I came home from work to find our dog had messed in his crate. I had leave almost immediately, and didn't have time to clean it, so it is still a mess. I was really disgusted. I don't even like the dog. It was a 'gift' to my wife. She won't clean the crate, however. She gags and throws up if she tries. I find it rather unfair that I have to clean up after a dog I never really wanted, but such is life, I suppose.

In the meantime, GM has announced that they are eliminating 2000 more jobs.

Joy.

Chillin' on a friday night.

I mentioned 1UP in a previous post, and mentioned how all the podcasts have resurfaced, but there was one missing. I omitted it not so much because it had not resurfaced, but because it had not officially ended. Obviously, from the fact that I"m bringing it up, things have changed.

Earlier today I listened to the final 1UP Yours podcast. At three and a half hours, it was a whopper, but it was well worth listening too just for the emotion. Garnett Lee, the host of 1UP Yours, has said that the podcast will continue, but with a different name to reflect the changing of the era. I will listen to whatever comes next, but it will be different; Different faces, different format perhaps, different feel, different.

On a different but related note, I'm sitting here alone, because my wife works nights on Fridays. I'm thinking about my friends, whom I miss. I was never very good at making friends, and I don't really have any close ones here in Michigan. I miss my friends. I miss being able to hang out without really needing to speak. I miss bonding through video games.

I was thinking about this as I was listening to the podcast this afternoon. I was listening to Garnett loosing his voice, being overcome with emotion, because these were his friends who he would not see regularly anymore. Going to work with missing faces, and empty desk can't be the easiest thing to do, and I may find out first hand very soon.

I'm missing my wife tonight, and I miss my friends.

...and Breath.

There are few things nicer than a free evening when the seem to be scarce. Some video gaming, a simple dinner with my wife, and the ability to stretch out on the sofa are just a few of the simple pleasures I've been missing lately, but not tonight. Check, check and check.

I've been playing Dragon Quest VIII. I know I'm a few years late, but better late than never. I think it is a pretty decent JRPG. It isn't groundbreaking or mind blowing by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a solid, enjoyable game, which I look forward to finishing. Next on the list is Grandia III. I am a fan of 2, even though the PS2 port has some issues, so I'm looking forward to 3 despite the fact that it did not review well.

Not that anyone's reading this...

The presentation went fairly well. I doubt we are going to get the business we are quoting on, but the customer seemed fairly impressed.