Spring is Near

The windows are open, and spring is in the air. It has been a long, hard winter. Between economic woes, uncertainty at work, and random other factors, I am more than happy to see the end of winter.

Spring is a time of rebirth, renewal, and growth. All of these things are a part of, or participate in change. I could really use some change for the better right now, even, perhaps, rebirth. My own personal growth has been rather stunted as of late. Several of my former co-workers started Grad school for MBA's. More and more I've been envying them. My previous position was very stable, to the point of stagnation. Rebirth, renewal, growth. Change.

I am filled with worry about the future, as to whether I can find a job soon, and continue to make my mortgage payment, but if I do find a new job soon, this could be one of the best things that's happened to me in a while. (My marriage being the other.)

Growth.

Change.

Spring is here, and it's about damn time.

In Between

I've been in an odd place since I lost my job. I guess this is not surprising. I'm in an in between place where I'm having trouble moving forward, even though I know it's REALLY important to get moving right now. I've looked into some options, and there are some interesting opportunities available to me.

Michigan Works will train me in a presumed growing field. I was happy being an engineer, but perhaps I do need a change.

In the meantime, my previous employer has paid for two months for me at a company called Right Management, which will help me write my resume, give me practice interviewing, and look at my different options if I want to switch careers.

Between the two, I'm seriously thinking of giving up this whole engineering thing. It's an odd thought. For almost 8.75 yrs of working, and 4.5 yrs of schooling, I defined myself by the title of engineer. It wasn't just what I did, it was who I was. Now that may not be the case anymore.

I know this may be silly to you. Why would someone define themselves so closely with what they do? I don't think it's unusual for engineers, though.

For now I'm an engineer. Tomorrow? Who knows.

Here's to the Fallen

I finished the last post, and realized that I overlooked one of the things I really wanted to do, and that is recognize those people who I knew who lost their jobs on Wed.

So, to Greg, Rayyan, Brian, Joel, Kendra, and especially David, those special few I knew out of the approximately 300 who, like me, lost their jobs, and to Will, Sara, Helene, and Jeremy, those smart few who took the damn buyout and walked away with more money, here's to you all. Good luck in all your endeavors.

Cheers.

And so falls the axe.

In my neck.

As I'm sure all of the zero people reading this blog were wondering, yes, last Wednesday the dreaded layoffs did occur, and so, as of about 1:30, Feb 18th, I am unemployed. Yup, my number came up.

The word that kept coming up in all of this was 'bloodbath'. Many fine people were let go.

I am dreadfully depressed by this. I keep trying to remind myself that it is not personal, and that my manager probably knew nothing about this. After all, on Tues, after attending a presentation to one of our customers that I had a large part in, he asked me how I would feel about going to Japan for training. Just 24 hrs later, the point is moot.

Now I have the eminent pleasure of trying to find an Engineering job in SE Michigan, when Ford, GM, and Chrysler are laying off Engineers in droves.

I have worked there just under 9 yrs. My resume had a layer of dust on it an inch thick, and I've completely forgotten how to write my objective.

All is not lost, of course. Friends and family have all reached out to make sure I knew that I wasn't alone in this. With my wife working, a meager severance, some unemployment from the state, and a bit of luck, we might make it through this, even keeping the house.

I must admit I'm a bit scared. Too much can go wrong, and this isn't the economy to be job searching in.

More as it develops.

Sometimes Ups out-number the Downs, but not often.

The halls are emptier at work, but it's not yet very noticeable. That will change in the coming weeks when the rest of the cuts happen. It is going to change for me sooner, though, as two of my friends have accepted the buyout. It is a strange feeling. I've worked in this company for going on nine years, and most of that time has been in the same job, the same group, and doing the same basic things. Now, in the space of a few months, my position in the company has changed, people I've known for years are leaving, and my job has turned out to be not nearly as safe as it once seemed. It is a very unsettled and unsettling feeling.

Some random thoughts to take my mind off things:

I've finished Dragon Quest 8, and it's fair to say I like it. I am so used to Final Fantasy's style that the different monster designs and old school feel really stand out, but in a good way. I really like the cel-shaded animations on the monsters. The edges are smooth, and don't have the choppy or polygonal feel of some of the earlier FF games. It is pretty to look at.

I love games, as you can probably tell. Casual and free games have made a bit of a buzz with the gaming press lately, and for good reason. Sites like Kongregate and Armor Games have sucked away so much of my free time, and kept me from doing constructive things, that I probably need to have an intervention. Most of the games I really enjoy and keep going back to are by Armor games, and also playable on Kongregate. I recommend the Shift series of games, Hedgehog Launch, and Sonny. Try them, and see how fun free games can be.

Phillip Koller of Rebel FM mentioned Gravity Bone in a podcast, and I downloaded and played it. It is interesting. The game is all of twenty minutes long, if that, but is fun, innovative, and manages to convey a story with no actual dialogue.

More later

The Chopping Block

Tomorrow will be the last day for those at work who took the voluntary buyout. However, that's not the end, oh no, no it's not! INvoluntary terminations will follow shortly thereafter. Yes sir or madam as the case may be, I may not have a job in the next week or so!

I'm nervous, of course. We're all nervous. The total lack of communication, along with the rampant rumors have ruined moral and made everyone paranoid. It has gotten to the point where we all think the ones who have taken the buyout may be the smart/lucky ones.

The consensus is that the company has handled this poorly. I have two co-workers going for MBA's at U of M, and they both said that every class they take says this is "what not to do." Regardless, the circus goes on, and the rumors continue.

To put the icing on the cake, I came home from work to find our dog had messed in his crate. I had leave almost immediately, and didn't have time to clean it, so it is still a mess. I was really disgusted. I don't even like the dog. It was a 'gift' to my wife. She won't clean the crate, however. She gags and throws up if she tries. I find it rather unfair that I have to clean up after a dog I never really wanted, but such is life, I suppose.

In the meantime, GM has announced that they are eliminating 2000 more jobs.

Joy.

Chillin' on a friday night.

I mentioned 1UP in a previous post, and mentioned how all the podcasts have resurfaced, but there was one missing. I omitted it not so much because it had not resurfaced, but because it had not officially ended. Obviously, from the fact that I"m bringing it up, things have changed.

Earlier today I listened to the final 1UP Yours podcast. At three and a half hours, it was a whopper, but it was well worth listening too just for the emotion. Garnett Lee, the host of 1UP Yours, has said that the podcast will continue, but with a different name to reflect the changing of the era. I will listen to whatever comes next, but it will be different; Different faces, different format perhaps, different feel, different.

On a different but related note, I'm sitting here alone, because my wife works nights on Fridays. I'm thinking about my friends, whom I miss. I was never very good at making friends, and I don't really have any close ones here in Michigan. I miss my friends. I miss being able to hang out without really needing to speak. I miss bonding through video games.

I was thinking about this as I was listening to the podcast this afternoon. I was listening to Garnett loosing his voice, being overcome with emotion, because these were his friends who he would not see regularly anymore. Going to work with missing faces, and empty desk can't be the easiest thing to do, and I may find out first hand very soon.

I'm missing my wife tonight, and I miss my friends.

100, 200, 400, 800, 1000, 2000, 4000, 8000, 1UP, 1UP, 1UP, 1UP....

I would like to take a moment to talk about 1UP.com . I started reading 1UP because I followed Jeremy Parish's website ToastyFrog (now GameSpite). When Jeremy began working at 1UP, I , being a fan of his writing, eventually followed his work over there as well. Like a gateway drug, this prompted me to read more of the site, and begin following other writers as well. Soon I was listening to three different podcasts, and reading reviews of various writers. The podcasts especially have helped me through many days of work over the past few years.

For those that may not know, shortly after the first of the year 1UP, which was formerly part of Ziff Davis publications, was bought by UGO, and half to two thirds of the editorial staff was let go. This included everyone that was involved in the creation of The 1UP Show, which if you haven't seen, I highly recommend, and the closing of EGM magazine, which was just shy of it's 20th anniversery.

I was down for weeks because of this. I know that I have never actually met any of these people, but after listening to their voices week after week, I feel like I'm watching this happen to my best freinds. Even so, as the former staff themselves said, this is not the end.

The last few confirmations of this have trickled in over the last week:
Philip Koller, Nick Suttner, and Anthony Gallegos have started the site Eat-Sleep-Game, and have reformed the 1UP FM podcast into the Rebel FM podcast.

A plethora of other former 1UP staff members have started the Geekbox podcast at geekbox.net.

Now, the final missing 'cast has resurfaced. All the members formerly involved in The 1UP Show have started Area 5, which has just launched with the new CO-OP videocast. At least for the time being, it is being offered for free.

All of the people involved in these projects are very talented, and their sites and various 'casts most definitely deserve a look. If you are interested in videogames, hardcore gamer or not, give them a listen (or watch).

Moshi Moshi

Welcome to the inaugural post of Wheels Will Turn, full of the trials and tribulations of those unfortunate souls that live in South East Michigan, and mistakenly thought that a job in the auto industry meant job security.

Working for an auto supplier, I've been seeing more than my share of competitors filing for bankruptcy, and cuts and terminations from my own employer. More terminations have already been announced. Last round of cuts I was transferred to a new department, and now, being the newest person in the group, and not having the training required for the new position, I'm a bit afraid that my head is on the block.

Regardless of what happens, no matter who goes bankrupt, cars will be built, cars will be sold, and wheels will turn.

Zeus_tfc